A New Sexual Revolution
Popular culture is woven together by an infinite public appetite for sexuality; if you doubt that, just count the number of sexual references you encounter in any evening spent watching television, reading magazines, watching films, or listening to popular radio. Nevertheless, the public fascination with female sexuality has very definite boundaries, and those boundaries are determined by age. So, while the sexual appetites and capabilities of women in their twenties and thirties seem to hold endless fascination for the public at large, that interest flags dramatically when the subject turns to the sex life of women in menopause. And when you do see or hear popular references to the sexuality of the over-forty female set, those references are more likely intended to disturb or amuse—not titillate—the viewer or listener.
In the past, many people assumed that women lost their desire for sex as they approached menopause, and that the passage through menopause led inevitably toward the eventual death of the libido. Today, most people know that idea is simply untrue and dismiss it as outdated mythology; still, not everyone understands all of the ways the physical changes of menopause can affect sexuality.
Thanks to the burgeoning numbers of women moving into midlife today, however, the discussion, research, and medical information on maturing female sexuality has never been richer. Talking about libido with other people is no longer considered taboo. Women can turn to doctors, health care professionals, and sites such as this one to educate themselves about exactly what kinds of physical symptoms and changes may affect their sexuality during menopause, and how to maintain optimum sexual health during this time. That understanding paves the way for a sexual revolution as socially significant as the first one these Baby Boomers experienced back in the 1960s—an era of the sexually confident, healthy, and vital midlife woman!
The Physical Facts of Life
If you abandon the idea that sexual problems of midlife are all in the head, the next step toward managing your own maturing sexual health is to understand the facts of life for this stage of your life. So what physical symptoms and changes can interfere with sexual desire and pleasure as menopause approaches?
Here are the most common:
- Vaginal dryness
- Pain during penetration
- Reduced response to clitoral stimulation and other sexual stimuli
Some of these changes are absolutely normal parts of the aging process and don’t represent alarming signals that sexual life is drawing to a close. Women (and men, for that matter) typically experience a slowdown in their biologic sexual response. Women may take longer to become aroused, for example, and some women report that they have fewer orgasmic contractions and shorter orgasms in general. These changes just mean that lovemaking takes on a new schedule or some new practices-changes that can benefit lovemaking at any age. Other physical changes are transient and treatable, either with medical hormonal therapies or nonhormonal, natural techniques.
But a maturing woman can undergo a number of physical and medical events that can trigger the symptoms and conditions of flagging sexual health, as well. These events include:
- Illnesses, both physical and emotional, including (but not limited to)
cardiac problems, hypertension, cancer, bladder disease, depression,
and arthritis - Medications used to treat any of the above illnesses, including some
antihypertensives, antidepressants, tranquilizers, and antihistamines - Medical treatments, such as radiation therapy, chemotherapy, or surgery
Without question, a woman’s psychological and emotional state can trigger many of the physical symptoms associated with aging sexuality. When a woman has low self-esteem or a poor body image, for example, she can have a greatly reduced response to stimulation. Anxiety, sleeplessness, and hot flashes can interfere with a woman’s ability to anticipate or enjoy sex and contribute to one or more of the previously listed physical symptoms. Decreased sexual activity itself can lead to diminished sexual desire, pleasure, and response. A woman with a sexually dysfunctional partner—or no partner at all—can be at risk of losing her own sexual health as a result.
Any woman knows that her most important responses to sexual stimulation take place in her brain; as a result, any number of conditions above can—but may not necessarily—lead to temporary sexual dysfunction. Nearly every symptom or problem that affects your sexual health is treatable, reversible, or even avoidable. But, as with any area of your health maintenance, you can’t count on someone else—your doctor, minister, therapist, or partner—to protect and manage your sexual health. That job is yours.
Don’t Forget about Birth Control
Remember, until you have gone for twelve months without a period or until your doctor or health care provider has run appropriate blood tests to determine the levels of hormones your body is producing, you could ovulate and, therefore, become pregnant after sexual activity. Many women stop using birth control after they’ve missed four or five periods and feel that they’re no longer fertile. That’s a mistake; a surprise pregnancy in your midforties can be a tremendous problem for both you and your partner. Again, be smart, and use contraceptives for a year after your last period.
