Overcoming Physical Barriers
If you don’t feel physically fit and healthy, you’re less likely to enjoy an active, healthy sex life. Although you can’t postpone menopause or the effects of aging indefinitely, you don’t have to let some of the physical symptoms of menopause prevent you from remaining sexually active. If physical issues are interfering with your sexual desire or ability—from vaginal atrophy or incontinence to fatigue resulting from sleep disturbances, illness, or medication—the first step toward resolving those problems is to talk with your gynecologist or other health care provider. Your doctor can recommend treatment options, exercise, dietary or medication changes, or other therapeutic solutions that can lessen or even resolve your physical barriers to an enjoyable sex life. And, as with all aspects of your health care, you may be able to improve your sexual health through some changes in your lifestyle choices.
The Basics
Your daily practices play a big role in your overall fitness—you know that. The same stresses, habits, and substances that damage other aspects of your health can limit your desire and ability to enjoy sex, as well. Here are some basics for maintaining your sexual fitness:
Eat right and exercise regularly: Nutrition and exercise are critical to your overall health as you age, and they play an important role in preserving your sexual health. Regular aerobic, weight-bearing, and stretching exercises keep your body feeling active and alive. Middle age weight gain and ebbing muscle strength and endurance can erode your sexual desire. When your body is strong and fit, you’re more energetic and you take a greater interest in all aspects of your life—including sex. If your body is strong and healthy, you’re less likely to think of it as an aging relic, and you’re more likely to enjoy sharing it with a partner.
Take Your Partner Along for the Ride
If you are in a committed relationship as you near midlife, the chances are good that your partner in that relationship is aging, too. His or her sexual performance and desire may be suffering as much—or even more— than your own. If you and your partner experience a decline in sexual intimacy, you should talk about it.
Many couples ignore sexual problems because they’re too embarrassed to discuss them together—let alone with a doctor or other health care professional. But most sexual issues don’t resolve themselves. Even if you take action to improve your own sexual response and desire, your partner may not benefit from your experience. In fact, some men and women can feel a bit overwhelmed by their partner’s increased sexual desire. So talking with your partner is your first step to getting your sex life back on track.
Enhancing Your Sexual Experience
You may find that your lovemaking simply needs some new life. Take this opportunity to enjoy a second “first romance” with your partner. Learn to touch each other again and take pleasure in your physical contact; take baths and showers together and spend more time in touching and foreplay during lovemaking. Let your partner know what feels good to you and find out what he or she enjoys most, and explore your fantasies. Don’t forget to use vaginal creams and lubricants to make the sexual experience more enjoyable. (If you’re using condoms, remember to use water-based lubricants; petroleum can weaken the condom wall and cause breaks and tears.) At this stage in your life, you can move beyond the shyness and embarrassment of adolescence. Your bodies are yours to enjoy, so don’t hold back.
